Vision boards and networking events, words that have now; become a part of my regular vocabulary. At this age we’re prompted to already have our lives figured out. What do we want to do, what do we want to become, how we’re going to achieve it all, and still find time to travel the world. I’d love to say that I’m in the percentage of those who do have it all figured out, unfortunately I am not. I’m in what I’d call a “Van Wilder stage”. Well sort of, let me explain. I graduated from college with a Bachelor’s in Political Science, minor in Criminal Justice, (yes, I know a minor technically doesn’t count for anything but I earned it, so I never fail to mention it). So, no, I’m not a 7th year senior in college, grasping onto my glory days, but I am at a loss. I have a college degree, as I stated previously, but that’s literally all I have. I have the most expensive piece of paper I never wanted to buy.
Here I sit, typing this post with no idea what I want to do. I just know I need to be, and want to be, legendary. I want to make sure all of the loans and long nights were worth it. I want to make sure that my loving parents didn’t break their backs for nothing. So what happens now? What happens when you lose your way? When you’ve lost the passion you once had, and the trail you thought you were meant to blaze? The answer is I have no idea. I think back to years ago, in high school, when I had my life planned out. I was going to get an athletic scholarship, for either basketball or track, major in poli-sci, be the most active student on campus ever, graduate with a dope GPA and move on to law school. From there I was supposed to have met the love of my life get married and start having kids after the bloom of my lucrative law career.
I got into school, not the school of my choice, but it was good enough. I didn’t get my athletic scholarship, but I did get recruited so that too, became good enough. I did major in political science but I didn’t enjoy it, but still it was good enough. I joined a few clubs and organizations, I wasn’t the most active, nor did I hold any real positions in them, but that was, again, good enough. After my 1st semester my GPA was all of a 2.45, and to me that was good enough. I’m not sure if you caught on to my spiral downhill, but I’ll out line it for you.
As time moved forward, and I moved forward, I began to settle. It started with, not getting into any of the schools of my choice, and not being offered the athletic scholarship I so confidently felt as if I deserved. I literally began to just accept things as they came, or as they went. My entire life up until I graduated from high school I knew exactly what I wanted to do and how I wanted it done. However suddenly, all of my plans just began to fall apart right in front of my face, and I was seemingly ok with it. As graduation drew closer, and I finally accomplished some of my original goals, I began to regress again. I realized that within all of my years of college I had lost sight of what I planned to do after. Graduation then came, and went and I found myself back home in up-state NY, the last place I wanted to be.
Now I’m here, a year later stuck in the same spot. Hoping and wishing, sometimes having bitter days trying to figure this thing called life out. My intents with this post is to show my fellow lost souls that they’re not alone. Sure we have options, get a master’s, actually put my decent LSAT scores to good use, and start a career in something, anything. The truth is while I’m still trying to get my life together, I did find one thing that’s working for me, and that’s prayer. I searched and searched for an answer, hell answers, to understand how I ended up in this predicament. I felt like I was doing everything right, everything I was supposed to do, so how can this happen? How did I end up here, and what do I do now?
Well, I realized that for a long time I put my faith way in the backseat of my life. Now, I know some don’t believe in God, that’s your prerogative, I however do. Interestingly enough as soon as I started picking up my Bible, and dropping to my knees to pray, things started to make more sense, and moves started to be made. My mom has always shared with me a quote: “if you want to make God laugh tell Him about your plans.” So the question most of us ask ourselves after graduation is: what now? While I still don’t have the answer, I started searching for it, with Jeremiah 29:11, and I encourage anyone feeling lost to read this verse. That being said, when I do find out the answers, I’ll be sure to let you know.